Blogs

Freedom became more than money, it was opportunity, it was a fresh start, and it was an escape.

 
December 13, 2019
 
I waited a long time to become a free agent. From the time I was first drafted, it was over 10 years before I earned the right to exercise this choice. 
 
I entered free agency after my father had been gravely ill for three years, an illness to which he would succumb by the end of the 2002 season. It made me re-think what would go into my decision to embrace my new freedom. 

Jimmy Kimmel Is Right, Bob Mueller is The Elf on the Shelf

 
 
Jimmy Kimmel Is Right, Bob Mueller is The Elf on the Shelf
 
By Doug Glanville
December 21, 2018
 
 
The rumors are true.
 
Bob Mueller is the Elf on the Shelf. 
 
Let that sink in for a moment.
 

Vladimir Guerrero and The Long Arms of The Law

July 28, 2018

It was the bottom of the 9th, tie game and no one was on base. My team, the Phillies, were navigating a bullpen that had been over-taxed that week. Without any veterans available, we needed to rely on a rookie reliever to get us into extra innings. Coming to the plate was Vladimir Guerrero. The home team’s legendary slugger who was the dynamite inside the lineup of the Montreal Expos.

"One important virtue to deal with the period of free agency is patience."

 
December 6, 2019
 
Free agency, although an important player right, is not a glorious time for most players, especially when you are just hoping to get a phone call. I had three years in free agency.
 
2003 – Texas
 
2004 – Philadelphia
 
2005 – Yankees (released at end of camp)
 
- Doug Glanville

“The other alarm drowned out my alarm.”

 
November 16, 2017
 
Notable Stats
 
Defensive Excuse Response Time (DERT) – The time it takes for someone to come up with a theory couched in a fact, while obscuring an excuse. Measured in micro-fake seconds.
 
Double Bluff Blame Radius (DBBR)  – When the simple answer will do, like “I overslept,” the range of other excuses put in its place. Measured in height of snow.

“I will taste garbage, not food.”

 
September 12, 2017
 
Notable Stats
 
Toxins per second (TPS) – The rate by which a child is absorbing toxic elements from putting something nasty in his or her mouth.
 

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