Blogs

“I curse you, DVR!”

April 3, 2016
 
Notable Stats
 
Impatience Acceleration Rate (IAR) – The increase in shock and awe as a function of time that a child may actually have to wait until the top of the hour for their show to start. Measured in sighs per minute.
 

“It’s not fair to boys.”

 
March 8, 2016
 
Notable Stats
Misdirected Outrage Arc (MOA) – The range of outrage spread on a cause that has no bearing whatsoever to what is relevant to a parent. Measured in imaginary friends.
 

“I have broken some sort of world record.”

February 26, 2016
 
Notable Stats
 
Useless Competitive Scorekeeping Magnitude (UCSM) – When your child keeps score for something that has no bearing other than the time wasted by counting for no reason whatsoever.
 

“I can’t find it (when I don’t even try to look).”

 
October 26, 2015
 
Notable Stats
 
Object Recovery Osmosis (ORO) – The science behind the thinking of a child when they expect the object they are looking for to magically appear in their hands when they have not taken a single step towards that effort. 
 

SPECIAL EDITION: Confessions of a Major League T-Ball Coach

May 8, 2015
 
It was an honor, during the off-season, to have been interviewed for a job as a big-league manager of the Tampa Bay Rays. I wasn’t chosen to run their show, so I elected to develop my managerial chops another way. And while I won’t have the luxury of having the Rays’ star third baseman, Evan Longoria, in my lineup, who knows? I may have the future Evan Longoria.
 
I’m coaching my kids’ T-ball team.
 

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