Announcement: I wish I had Gamble hair! https://t.co/mL8kLRplJ8 Updated: Sat Jul 02 20:07:16 +0000 2022
Announcement: But here is me now… https://t.co/DpkBDvHS0G https://t.co/uCWBAs63KW Updated: Fri Jul 01 23:51:26 +0000 2022
Announcement: RT @malcolmdlee: 'The Best Man: The Final Chapters' Exclusive: First Look At Nia Long And Melissa De Sousa In Peacock Limited Series - SHAD… Updated: Fri Jul 01 14:54:24 +0000 2022
Announcement: There is a DVD from their 1976 show. Think it was German. Musik Laden. https://t.co/vax8IMU0kx Updated: Fri Jul 01 14:34:08 +0000 2022
Announcement: BigBamBoom. Loved 1984. Key question is… can John still do a cartwheel? @halloates https://t.co/a6zcIciJXH Updated: Fri Jul 01 14:24:43 +0000 2022
Announcement: Seems like the Jets podcast had much more luxurious grounds to record than Starkville. Then again, where is Starkvi… https://t.co/7e5wM3pnKT Updated: Thu Jun 30 21:03:16 +0000 2022
Announcement: My stache tribute to John Oates too. :) https://t.co/DlPlWi9otF Updated: Thu Jun 30 02:09:44 +0000 2022
Announcement: Whoa. https://t.co/VCDLcHiqkx Updated: Wed Jun 29 20:43:38 +0000 2022
Announcement: I was coming in for a ball and he was going out. I slid in and he dove over his shoulder so my head ended up his he… https://t.co/ahVKAGeN2V Updated: Wed Jun 29 20:43:13 +0000 2022
Announcement: Really scary. I collided three times in the big leagues with…
Jimmy Rollins - he got the worst of it since my glove… https://t.co/EuwZHlizTH Updated: Wed Jun 29 20:28:46 +0000 2022
Announcement: This is art. https://t.co/IFR7UhKqc9 Updated: Wed Jun 29 16:10:07 +0000 2022
Announcement: Our latest Starkville pod is a visit by Tony Gwynn Jr. I had the honor playing against his Dad but also to watch hi… https://t.co/YJq70zRTC6 Updated: Wed Jun 29 13:32:28 +0000 2022
Announcement: My teammate when I was with the @IowaCubs, @kiesch23, loved you from your early Hootie days. So I learned a lot of… https://t.co/EiugIZpJL4 Updated: Tue Jun 28 15:33:36 +0000 2022
Announcement: I asked this question about Tony Gwynn as I learned about the legendary bat affectionately known as
“7 grains of… https://t.co/Cb4HiLeat0 Updated: Tue Jun 28 13:36:07 +0000 2022
Announcement: Seems like using games as punishment wasn’t a very creative idea. :) https://t.co/pKRTl27qBC Updated: Tue Jun 28 01:59:36 +0000 2022
Announcement: I have to wonder if an interpreter has ever been suspended for his actions in a brawl. Must be precedent-setting. :) https://t.co/Isvc96J5OX Updated: Tue Jun 28 01:42:10 +0000 2022
Announcement: Great game going here! #Dodgers #Braves. Catch us on @ESPNRadio right now. #MLB Updated: Mon Jun 27 02:36:55 +0000 2022
Announcement: The “warm Atlanta welcome” did not go well with the #Dodgers in town. 😂 #Braves (except for Freddie) https://t.co/IZu77SGczc Updated: Sun Jun 26 23:00:52 +0000 2022
Lessons and tidbits of wisdom gained from the sport of parenting and the game of fatherhood. Contact me via Twitter @TheDaddyGames with your comments and stories related to my blog posts.
Blind Distance Recognition (BDR) – The area by which a child realizes that if they leave it, they will be too far from their parents. For 95% of boys, age 5 -7, this number starts at infinity.
False Leadership Compass Attraction Rate (FLCAR) – A measure of magnetism of a child to appear to know where they are going as a function of how directionless they actually are.
Knots per Twist (KPT) – The amount of knots in her hair that is created by a her “comfort-move” of twirling her curls. Measured in clumps sawed off per day.
Untangle Impossibility Rate (UIR) – The tipping point when the repair on a child’s hair is to find a nearby pair of scissors. Multiple this rate by ten if you find that a blowtorch is required.
Sheet-Hog Diameter (SHD) – The area taken up by your child when he or she is in your bed. If they are about 3 feet tall, they will manage to take up the area of a California King Bed by themselves.
Child Regeneration Factor (CRF) – The rate by which children are growing in your bed after you remove one. If the number is unusually high, your children may be considered bacteria and the EPA will force you to pick up a HAZMAT suit at your next stop at Target.
Stall Tactics per Fortnight (STF) – The bag of tricks children dip into when they are trying to avoid bed. Coughing, Closet Monsters, Itchy Skin, Parched Throat, Malaria are examples.
Delirium Rapidity Increase (DRI) – The exponential speed by which a child is losing all coherent ability as a function of time. The peak value is measured when your child falls asleep while running.
Scotch Tape Depletion Rate (STDR) – The number of containers of Scotch Tape you go through during non-holiday and non-birthday times of the year.
Unnecessary Office Supply Usage (UOSU) – A running count of how many times your kids use office supplies for repairs of items that they end up giving to the dog or making into back-up underwear.
Haterade per Hour (HpH) – The amount of times jealousy lines the intent of a comment from one child to another. Measured in imaginary pictures of tongues sticking out.
One-up One-down Rate (1U1D) – The effort of one child to make himself look cooler as they diminish the value of the other’s efforts. The child with the higher rate is given the Haterade Crown of the Day.
Waking Hour Ratio (WHR) – The ratio between the time you are awake when your kids are awake versus the time you are asleep when your kids are awake. That is correct, unless your kids are 10 or up, this is zero.
Zombie Nights per Month (ZNM) – The number of nights per month your sleep is interrupted. Reasons could range from your child nearly drowning in their own pee (while staying asleep) to a stuffed Tweety Bird having the power to turn into his evil twin at night….I curse you, Tweety Bird.
Fear Weighted Average (FWA) – The ratio between the degree of fear of something possible to something impossible. A low number means your child may actually be a hamster.
Morph Shock Value (MSV) – The time that it takes for something completely innocuous to turn into a vicious and deadly poisonous gigantic spider. Measured in hours of sleep lost by the child’s caretakers.
Minutes to Implosion (MTI) – The time it takes while you are futilely trying to get a toy out of its packaging before you look for both a blowtorch and an axe.
Unnecessary Patents per Year (UPY) – The amount of new ways the toy packaging companies can frustrate you based on another fancy new security lock placed on a Doc McStuffins doll.