Announcement: Hey David! Thanks so much. You add so much perspective from the inside. Thanks again for joining our podcast earlie… https://t.co/9fbmI3Er5Q Updated: Wed Jan 20 14:39:42 +0000 2021
Announcement: Thanks, Mark. It is great to hear from you and thanks for blazing so many trails. https://t.co/H4yx0bnfhY Updated: Wed Jan 20 14:34:48 +0000 2021
Announcement: Hi Andrew! Thanks for the kind words and the great memory. I loved that project! Good to hear from you. https://t.co/qJRHanhCrG Updated: Wed Jan 20 14:30:54 +0000 2021
Announcement: Cody, I haven’t responded much since I posted it but I did want to take the time to thank you for expressing your d… https://t.co/GKoNKCDfft Updated: Tue Jan 19 23:36:45 +0000 2021
Announcement: I hope you were able to check our debut episode of “Class is in Session!” A big thanks to the team at Marquee,… https://t.co/LXmpJibmHt Updated: Tue Jan 19 13:51:21 +0000 2021
Announcement: A little under 4 hours from the 7pm CT premiere of "Class is in Session with Doug Glanville" on @WatchMarquee. Than… https://t.co/kEB6A6hJWo Updated: Mon Jan 18 21:09:31 +0000 2021
Announcement: Hoy, el cumpleaños de Martin Luther King Jr, estoy explorando la paternidad y oportunidad en MLB y como efectúa un… https://t.co/LRVndGDfEe Updated: Mon Jan 18 19:18:58 +0000 2021
Announcement: RT @WatchMarquee: Martin Luther King Jr. Day lineup on Marquee Sports Network.
➡️: https://t.co/7nNytvkgYo https://t.co/Jz7zzqzzvV Updated: Mon Jan 18 18:45:46 +0000 2021
Announcement: I’m honored and excited to introduce Chicagoland friends to my new show on @WatchMarquee. First episode airs tonigh… https://t.co/JW1RgRREag Updated: Mon Jan 18 17:16:33 +0000 2021
Announcement: My father, who passed before meeting any of his grandchildren, shared a birthday with Martin Luther King Jr. Today… https://t.co/TIS7cu93y2 Updated: Mon Jan 18 13:10:00 +0000 2021
Announcement: This is fantastic. The power of simply throwing a baseball to someone else. #MLB https://t.co/LeASCHKwgo Updated: Sun Jan 17 17:25:29 +0000 2021
Announcement: One of my childhood memories is walking to school and for years passing a women who walked her daschund every day a… https://t.co/VrkB0NISYB Updated: Sun Jan 17 14:59:49 +0000 2021
Announcement: Without a doubt 👀🕵🏻♂️👀🕵🏽♂️ https://t.co/7cq7XvOljL Updated: Sat Jan 16 13:03:26 +0000 2021
Announcement: Today was also my father’s birthday. Extra special memories. He would have been 96. https://t.co/QJQQuCIYXZ Updated: Fri Jan 15 16:46:56 +0000 2021
Announcement: “Now batting, from the University of Pennsylvania....” I can hear it in my sleep. https://t.co/s0cMgKLpaN Updated: Thu Jan 14 17:26:52 +0000 2021
Announcement: Go @WarehamGatemen!!! https://t.co/EtGH1vJ9Ev Updated: Thu Jan 14 17:06:34 +0000 2021
Announcement: Wishing you well Kyle. Seems like yesterday when I saw you in the NCAA tourney. https://t.co/4WQqNwruOL Updated: Sun Jan 10 14:41:21 +0000 2021
Announcement: No. Just look for the change-up https://t.co/Tvt2bHJRkg Updated: Sun Jan 10 00:14:47 +0000 2021
Announcement: YES! Go for it. https://t.co/ebNImeYNHW Updated: Sat Jan 09 20:50:12 +0000 2021
Announcement: The edging really got me. Up until then, I was going to declare my bathtub a form of art. https://t.co/ZSQ6XgmkpM Updated: Sat Jan 09 18:08:45 +0000 2021
Lessons and tidbits of wisdom gained from the sport of parenting and the game of fatherhood. Contact me via Twitter @TheDaddyGames with your comments and stories related to my blog posts.
Brains per body (BPB) – The maximum number of brains your child claims to have at any one given time.
Exoneration Quotient (EQ) – The speed by which your child passes blame to an extra brain.
Our children have multiple brains. They have emphatically explained their actions by expressing with a straight face that “their brain did it.” No, they didn’t do it, the dog didn’t do it, their brain actually ate their homework. By osmosis, I guess.
Ignored Micro-Minute (IMM) – The time it takes for you to realize that the basket full of toys you put in the kitchen to keep your one-year old occupied is totally useless. She prefers outlets.
Empty Box Swap Rate (EBSR) – The rate by which real toys lose their luster for the boxes they came in.
Ping Pong Vector (PPV) – A measure of how many times your child changes direction when they were supposed to go straight.
Itchy Ants Pants Factor (IAPF) – The time it takes for your child to get out of his or her chair after he or she just sat in it. (measured in micro-seconds)
Pre-school Wait Time (PWT) – The multiplier used when converting actual wait time into time that a preschooler thinks he or she is waiting. One minute of real wait time equals 62.25 years in pre-school time.
Behavior Degradation Rate (BDR) – The accelerating rate by which well-behaved children will decline until they can only be picked up by a mop.
“Wait? It is your funeral?” I wanted to ask the host at the Cheesecake Factory.
Cooing Ball of Destruction (CBD) – The velocity a one-year-old reaches while lumbering in a random direction as she pulls everything down in the process. Measured in broken objects per square foot.
Gentle Expectation Factor (GEF) – The expectation of softness by an unknowing person that picks up a one year old, only to have a shard of hair ripped from their head.
Oblivious Run Direction (ORD) – The compass needle direction in which your child is running as it relates to which way they are actually looking.
Spatial Calibration Sense (SCS) – An inherent feel your child has for where he or she is relative to his or her peers or objects. Measured in goosebumps per square inch.
Funky Body Nastiness Rate (FBNR) – The rate by which your personal hygiene declines as it relates to the number of children in your house.
Child Clean Relativity Factor (CCRF) – The amount by which your child is more well-kempt than you. Measured in showers you take per week divided by the number of times your child brushes his or her teeth times two.
Reaction Time Degradation Rate (RTDR) – The decline in reaction time parents experience with each additional child. The third child is basically, on their own.
Mob Mentality Factor (MMF) – The multiplier that considers what happens when two or more pre-schoolers gang up on you.
Toddler Lift Distance (TOLD) – How far you can carry your son or daughter between their bed and the toilet when they are about to lose their cookies. Measured in stuffed animals.
Plague Takeover Rate (PTR) – The speed by which the next family member gets sick after the first one gets sick – Measured in units of time based on Max and Ruby episodes.
Head Lumps per Witching Hour (HLWH) – The number of times your child hits his or her head when it is either past their naptime or past their bedtime.
Repeated Repeat Repetition (3R) – The number of times you have to say the same thing for your child to put it into action once they are tired. National average is somewhere between 11 and infinity.