Announcement: I wish I had Gamble hair! https://t.co/mL8kLRplJ8 Updated: Sat Jul 02 20:07:16 +0000 2022
Announcement: But here is me now… https://t.co/DpkBDvHS0G https://t.co/uCWBAs63KW Updated: Fri Jul 01 23:51:26 +0000 2022
Announcement: RT @malcolmdlee: 'The Best Man: The Final Chapters' Exclusive: First Look At Nia Long And Melissa De Sousa In Peacock Limited Series - SHAD… Updated: Fri Jul 01 14:54:24 +0000 2022
Announcement: There is a DVD from their 1976 show. Think it was German. Musik Laden. https://t.co/vax8IMU0kx Updated: Fri Jul 01 14:34:08 +0000 2022
Announcement: BigBamBoom. Loved 1984. Key question is… can John still do a cartwheel? @halloates https://t.co/a6zcIciJXH Updated: Fri Jul 01 14:24:43 +0000 2022
Announcement: Seems like the Jets podcast had much more luxurious grounds to record than Starkville. Then again, where is Starkvi… https://t.co/7e5wM3pnKT Updated: Thu Jun 30 21:03:16 +0000 2022
Announcement: My stache tribute to John Oates too. :) https://t.co/DlPlWi9otF Updated: Thu Jun 30 02:09:44 +0000 2022
Announcement: Whoa. https://t.co/VCDLcHiqkx Updated: Wed Jun 29 20:43:38 +0000 2022
Announcement: I was coming in for a ball and he was going out. I slid in and he dove over his shoulder so my head ended up his he… https://t.co/ahVKAGeN2V Updated: Wed Jun 29 20:43:13 +0000 2022
Announcement: Really scary. I collided three times in the big leagues with…
Jimmy Rollins - he got the worst of it since my glove… https://t.co/EuwZHlizTH Updated: Wed Jun 29 20:28:46 +0000 2022
Announcement: This is art. https://t.co/IFR7UhKqc9 Updated: Wed Jun 29 16:10:07 +0000 2022
Announcement: Our latest Starkville pod is a visit by Tony Gwynn Jr. I had the honor playing against his Dad but also to watch hi… https://t.co/YJq70zRTC6 Updated: Wed Jun 29 13:32:28 +0000 2022
Announcement: My teammate when I was with the @IowaCubs, @kiesch23, loved you from your early Hootie days. So I learned a lot of… https://t.co/EiugIZpJL4 Updated: Tue Jun 28 15:33:36 +0000 2022
Announcement: I asked this question about Tony Gwynn as I learned about the legendary bat affectionately known as
“7 grains of… https://t.co/Cb4HiLeat0 Updated: Tue Jun 28 13:36:07 +0000 2022
Announcement: Seems like using games as punishment wasn’t a very creative idea. :) https://t.co/pKRTl27qBC Updated: Tue Jun 28 01:59:36 +0000 2022
Announcement: I have to wonder if an interpreter has ever been suspended for his actions in a brawl. Must be precedent-setting. :) https://t.co/Isvc96J5OX Updated: Tue Jun 28 01:42:10 +0000 2022
Announcement: Great game going here! #Dodgers #Braves. Catch us on @ESPNRadio right now. #MLB Updated: Mon Jun 27 02:36:55 +0000 2022
Announcement: The “warm Atlanta welcome” did not go well with the #Dodgers in town. 😂 #Braves (except for Freddie) https://t.co/IZu77SGczc Updated: Sun Jun 26 23:00:52 +0000 2022
Lessons and tidbits of wisdom gained from the sport of parenting and the game of fatherhood. Contact me via Twitter @TheDaddyGames with your comments and stories related to my blog posts.
Brains per body (BPB) – The maximum number of brains your child claims to have at any one given time.
Exoneration Quotient (EQ) – The speed by which your child passes blame to an extra brain.
Our children have multiple brains. They have emphatically explained their actions by expressing with a straight face that “their brain did it.” No, they didn’t do it, the dog didn’t do it, their brain actually ate their homework. By osmosis, I guess.
Ignored Micro-Minute (IMM) – The time it takes for you to realize that the basket full of toys you put in the kitchen to keep your one-year old occupied is totally useless. She prefers outlets.
Empty Box Swap Rate (EBSR) – The rate by which real toys lose their luster for the boxes they came in.
Ping Pong Vector (PPV) – A measure of how many times your child changes direction when they were supposed to go straight.
Itchy Ants Pants Factor (IAPF) – The time it takes for your child to get out of his or her chair after he or she just sat in it. (measured in micro-seconds)
Pre-school Wait Time (PWT) – The multiplier used when converting actual wait time into time that a preschooler thinks he or she is waiting. One minute of real wait time equals 62.25 years in pre-school time.
Behavior Degradation Rate (BDR) – The accelerating rate by which well-behaved children will decline until they can only be picked up by a mop.
“Wait? It is your funeral?” I wanted to ask the host at the Cheesecake Factory.
Cooing Ball of Destruction (CBD) – The velocity a one-year-old reaches while lumbering in a random direction as she pulls everything down in the process. Measured in broken objects per square foot.
Gentle Expectation Factor (GEF) – The expectation of softness by an unknowing person that picks up a one year old, only to have a shard of hair ripped from their head.
Oblivious Run Direction (ORD) – The compass needle direction in which your child is running as it relates to which way they are actually looking.
Spatial Calibration Sense (SCS) – An inherent feel your child has for where he or she is relative to his or her peers or objects. Measured in goosebumps per square inch.
Funky Body Nastiness Rate (FBNR) – The rate by which your personal hygiene declines as it relates to the number of children in your house.
Child Clean Relativity Factor (CCRF) – The amount by which your child is more well-kempt than you. Measured in showers you take per week divided by the number of times your child brushes his or her teeth times two.
Reaction Time Degradation Rate (RTDR) – The decline in reaction time parents experience with each additional child. The third child is basically, on their own.
Mob Mentality Factor (MMF) – The multiplier that considers what happens when two or more pre-schoolers gang up on you.
Toddler Lift Distance (TOLD) – How far you can carry your son or daughter between their bed and the toilet when they are about to lose their cookies. Measured in stuffed animals.
Plague Takeover Rate (PTR) – The speed by which the next family member gets sick after the first one gets sick – Measured in units of time based on Max and Ruby episodes.
Head Lumps per Witching Hour (HLWH) – The number of times your child hits his or her head when it is either past their naptime or past their bedtime.
Repeated Repeat Repetition (3R) – The number of times you have to say the same thing for your child to put it into action once they are tired. National average is somewhere between 11 and infinity.